Right now I’m reflecting on days gone by, when to our mums and dads, having children was considered a rich and fulfilling life. Now days we are so consumed by our own needs, opportunities and personal wealth, that children are now, by some, considered a hindrance, too costly and a “step backward”. What a sad reality.
In my childhood, which wasn’t too long ago, I remember Mum at home slogging away with 3 kids under 3, attending to the chores and spending time with us. Childcare? No, that wasn’t an option. My mother in particular only ever wanted to be a mum. She was one of those women who considered having children as the “ultimate” goal.
As a family, weekends were spent playing around the yard and particularly Sundays was a day of “family” time. If we weren’t in our backyard playing, we were playing in the streets, we were down at the park kicking the footy or Dad would take us for a day trip. We weren’t thrown into the car and hitting the big retail outlets at the first chance of opening. We weren’t consumed with the “gotta haves” or trying to keep up with the “Jones”. We didn’t have the latest and greatest of everything and the desire certainly wasn’t there that we had to put it on credit or throw ourselves into massive debt.
In our own home, we didn’t have the internet invading dinner time, family time. We had 1 tv that belonged in the lounge room and was only on at limited times during the day and was considered to be adult time when we went to bed. Yes, we had a bed time!
Meal time was sitting around the table, talking, conversing and eating. Tv was off and no other noise or interference was allowed; including the telephone. If it did happen to ring and we were still eating, it would go unanswered.
The sad reality of our lives nowadays is that we have constant interference, internet 24/7, tv, 24/7, mobile phones, 24/7. Shops are open every day of the week, including public holidays…God forbid we go one day without opening our wallets.
Meal times are around the tv, in separate rooms, alone, in front of the computer, on the phone, at work, or pre-packed freezer meals, or probably more likely not at all. The dinner table is vacant, collecting dust, cos there’s no time to clean. There’s prob a computer sitting on there anyway!
Conversation time, or “family” time has been replaced with going out for coffee, spending time chatting via the web to a complete stranger, a quick hello (if you’re lucky) as you pass through the house on your way out to “do” something else, on the phone to someone else. So where are the kids? On the phone, watching tv or on the net.
Is anyone else alarmed at the lack of conversation we have with our family? I mean genuine conversation..that is the, how are you questions, how are you feeling? Those sorts of deep questions with a genuine desire to know the answer .
I’m appalled and saddened by the amount of time we spend away from our loved ones, through the self-induced distractions we create in our environment. That’s right..I said “self-induced”. Meaning we don’t have to be on the phone when there’s a quiet moment, we don’t have to be sitting squared eyed at the tv when there’s just garbage on anyway. We don’t have to be working, when in reality it CAN wait another day. We choose to be away from our families, even when they’re right there!
Even sadder, is that this sad reality doesn’t shake us until there’s a death and it just makes me sick quite frankly!
We all want stuff, crap, to consume our lives. We want the biggest and best house and we don’t mind throwing our children into daycare 5 days a week to get it. We don’t mind working our butts of just to pay the mortgage on a house that’s way too big…remember the saying “living beyond our means”? Why does each child need their own room, own tv, own mobile, own toys, big branded clothes?
All the while, you never get back those years with children, you can’t take all the money you earn with you after death, or the biggest house on the street you bought. You can’t take it with you!!!!!! Money can be spent, houses can be destroyed, burned, modern things become old and thrown away…so while you invest in these hollow, empty things, what has happened to your children, your partner, your parents?
If only we put as much time into relationships that matter including the relationship with ourselves, we would be far more richer, more happier, more fulfilled. Our children wouldn’t need to seek out drugs or alcohol to suppress the pain, or commit crimes to gain attention.
I tell you this, we are gonna pay for the neglect of our children. But not after we have destroyed many lives and a good generation of children in the process!
If you can do one thing…REFLECT ON HOW YOUR LIFE IS:
Ask yourself some very hard questions and be willing to step up and make changes that WILL improve the quality of your life and those of your family.
So I challenge each and every one of you:
TURN OFF THE MOBILE PHONE AS SOON AS YOU GET HOME
SIT DOWN AS A FAMILY AT TEA TIME
DON’T! ANSWER THE PHONE DURING MEAL TIME
READ A BOOK TO YOUR CHILDREN
DO SOMETHING WITH THEM THAT THEY ENJOY
CHOOSE SAT OR SUN WHERE YOU DON’T VISIT ANY SHOPS…GO FOR A DRIVE INSTEAD…GO TO THE PARK ETC
TURN OFF THE COMPUTER
THROW OUT THE TV’S IN YOUR CHILDREN’S ROOMS AND YOUR OWN
SAVE THE NEXT GENERATION OF CHILDREN FROM LONLINESS, ISOLATION, DEPRESSION.
PEOPLE NEED LOVE, TIME SPENT WITH EACH OTHER…WE CAN’T GET THAT BACK WHEN THEY’RE GONE!
NM